I need to get some more varnish so I can finish a couple paintings. I could start a new one, but I think I have reached a point of wanting to get some varnished, off my easels and stands, and just finished. It is easy to get stuck in this process of not fully finished (at least for me), and prefer the work of creating the images, letting them pile up. So, until I get some more varnish, painting work is just on a pause.
Honestly, I am also in a bit of a bummer mood. We had family missing over the holidays, who had passed away since last year. I wanted to skip Christmas. Now I understand this must be a thing, at least for some people. This year it was more acceptable to do small Christmas because of the virus. Anyway, what is the word... Not lazy. But something like low inertia. Not much drive to paint. Painting is joyful for me. If I am in a very bad mood, for some reason I have a hard time crossing my own threshold out at times, where I am punishing myself for unknown reasons, and I do not dare deal with feeling better. Maybe it means all kinds of expectations of myself will flood back in, whereas I shut them all out where in a bummer mood. A little shut down. Okay, too much information, but who has not felt crappy. Especially during holidays when close family is gone. It makes me pretty crabby. But I have been creating some anyway, so here is some about that...
Years ago I had some patterns/designs, prints for sale on a textile site (not sewing patterns, but I think of print design as geometric “pattern”). This was a fun experiment but not a money maker. I felt I needed to order a swatch of anything before listing. Some prints did not translate well to the cotton swatch, so it was good to sample first. Well I spent a little money on many swatches and probably the swatches didn’t even pay for themselves with everything I listed. But I was not able to control the print too much. And my original graphics were quite “busy”. I have problems getting caught up in the curiosity and fun of creating patterns and sometimes lack perspective, or ability to step back and consider if it makes any sense at all for a textile.
Recently I have been playing around with a couple apps and could test out some prints on virtual objects. The prints are created from small images within my paintings. I have very many prints and objects now, but I am not very smart about file sizes or how any of it would translate. Again, if I wanted to print any of them, I’d have to order samples first. Many of my designs translate better to something like artisanal gift wrap. Others... tile or antique- modern linoleum print. In my imagination.
So from my place of crummy mood and lack of inertia, I have been inventing virtual things, repurposing my own art. If I went into a “mood” app, probably I am less “meh” or disappointed or sad, and more “okay” and curious, even if equally lazy. It is a tiny mood shift. Because I am not just watching YouTube videos (nothing against good videos), but I am creating. I am analyzing little segments, shapes, colors, and happy when I find a wonderful element or pattern buried within a basically boring line.
Virtual purse created with one of my print designs:
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